“For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world but that the world, through Him, might be saved.” -John 3:17
Dear Family and Friends,
2021. We were so hopeful, weren’t we? But we are still trying to navigate a pandemic. Wonderful people who were here when we started the year have passed away. Masks are still required in many places, and vulnerable people still worry about a disease that will not be snuffed out any time soon. People who disagree over treatments and medical issues have vilified one another. It’s still a messy mess. And meanwhile, many of us are trying to raise kids in a world that seems scarier, more hateful, and more fearful than it did a few years ago.
But we have much to be thankful for too. Our schools are open. Hugs are back. High fives, parties, and field trips are back too. No one is encouraging licking tables or sharing straws, but those were always bad ideas. At the start of 2021, Jack was still in kindergarten with a super warm and friendly teacher but also with face masks and other restrictions. It was rough, y’all. I almost homeschooled, but since I don’t have any other littles at home, he would have had even LESS interaction with his peers! So off to school he went, and I was as happy with that decision as I could possibly be, except when I wasn’t. That seems to be kind of a repeating theme for me. “I did the right thing. I feel good about this. Right? I mean, I did the right thing, right? Unless I didn’t. Oh, gosh. What if I’ve screwed up? What if I’ve messed them up for life? What if all my planning and reading and studying and researching and my ENTIRE decision-making process actually led me to overthink everything and my kids wind up a hot mess?” Then it starts over. There’s probably a medication for this.
Parenting is tough. In the little years, there is all the foundational stuff and the exhaustion. In the middle years, there is so much exploring and learning what’s out there, teaching your child how to navigate relationships and how to share Jesus with hurting people. In those older years, there’s less teaching and more coaching. You don’t hold their hands as much as you stand back and watch, cheer, grieve, PRAY they know the peace that passes all understanding. PRAY that they are getting to know Him better and that He is their very real and personal Savior by the time the WORLD tries to push its way in. PRAY that the LIGHT will burn brightly and spread to others around them and that the darkness flees from their presence and that they do not delight in it.
So that leads me to this. Abby is 16 now. She’s a sophomore in high school, and Joey and I are not okay with that. She loves Cross Country and Track, even enjoying a trip to the regional track meet last spring with her 800 relay team. She also loves writing poetry and won first place in the Santa Rosa Celebrates the Arts competition (sorry, this is sounding like THAT Christmas letter). She loved learning to ski when we went to Granby, Colorado, in the spring, she still loves baking, playing piano, sewing from time to time, reading, and listening to history podcasts. She enjoyed trying out NJROTC at her high school last year, but this year she has found her place in a leadership class. She[MM1] helps plan First Priority meetings and activities, works with students who have special needs, volunteers at Jack’s elementary school, and mentors high school students who speak English as a second language. Abby LOVES her Spanish class and wants to become fluent. She still talks about becoming an engineer or a math professor, but her love for language is becoming more and more apparent and we are wondering what God is doing there. If you have little girls right now, do not believe all this nonsense about how awful they are as teenagers. They can be wonderful. They can be the best years. (But if you don’t like rollercoasters, you might not love these years so much. Just saying.)
Josiah is 13 and in 7th grade now. This year has been such a better year for him, as compared to last year. It seems like that 6th grade year—for many people who attend traditional middle schools—is a rough one, even when there isn’t a pandemic. We are glad it’s behind us. His favorite subject is math. He enjoys playing tenor saxophone for the jazz and symphonic bands at Sims Middle School, and he thinks he may want to continue when he gets to high school. I would love for him to do that! But I have to play it cool or he will decide it’s a terrible idea. Sometimes (hourly) we bump heads. Anyway. He played soccer in the spring, but he doesn’t love it. He mostly just loves being with people, so he tries to find ways to do that. He can’t wait until he is 14 and can get a job. I think it is so he can be with more folks. Josiah loves to read, play XBOX with friends, do wood-working projects with Joey, and think of different ways to aggravate his little brother and then make him laugh until his sides hurt. He adores his big sister and thinks she is the princess no one will ever deserve. Josiah doesn’t always shine or stand out in trophy-esque ways, but I am told over and over that he is such a nice kid. He is kind, polite, and treats his teachers and peers with respect. He sees ways to help and does it. I guess if you are going to shine at something, that’s a pretty good place to start.
Then there’s Jack, our quasi-grandchild. If it were not for his older siblings, I’m pretty sure I would have him completely spoiled. They remind me about how I did it with them, and they keep me on track with the baby. He is in the first grade now and is in the coolest class—Mr. Kelly’s Jedis. Our six-year-old loves reading Boxcar Children books, painting, playing Scooby Doo or Batman, doing Legos, being with Joey, and anything Auburn football related. His new fascination with Auburn has been a hoot and it makes me miss my Daddy so much. He would have loved hearing Jack talk football. Jack also loves running full blast, eating bananas and peanut butter and anything sweet, driving the golf cart, and playing Minecraft with his brother. He and Josiah also have a fascination with bodily functions. I did not understand it with my brothers Rhett and Chad, and I don’t understand it with my own two. Abby bought him a special Christmas gift, a white hand towel with the embroidered phrase, “you better not pout.” She closed up the “u” with some matching red thread so that it now reads, “you better not poot.” The girls thought it was funny anyway.
You have to laugh. You just have to. I have precious friends who are facing difficult battles, we are all grieving something or someone, and we struggle to find our footing when the ground keeps shifting beneath us. The only constant is change, right? That’s what Joey’s dad says all the time, and the older I get, the more I hate that it is so dadgum true. Our family is still adjusting to life without my Daddy here. My kids are still processing the loss of Paw Paw, and every new loss opens that deep wound. Kids are resilient, yes. But that doesn’t mean they just get over things. If they seem to easily get over something catastrophic—like not getting to say goodbye to one of the most important people in their lives—that probably means they just buried it. I am learning how to process this all myself, trusting the One who promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you . . . ,” Isaiah 43:2.
Life is ridiculously hard and then ridiculously beautiful, all in the matter of moments sometimes. I pray that this year, you find joy in the ridiculous, even when it seems like too much effort to even try. It’s there. You are here, and so am I. He is not done with us yet. When the Christmas giftwrap is tossed out and the goodies are thrown away or eaten, He is still giving out all the best gifts. And the greatest of these is Love.
May you feel the warmth of His love in 2022!
Misty, Joey, Abby, Josiah and Jack McMath
Carrying Anna, Carrying On 